12WBT +43

Oh, God.  Where is my energy?  Plug's been pulled and the battery is running low.


I'm fast dawning on the realisation that I'm a fat, lazy oaf.  Okay, that's not entirely true.  I've known this for quite a while.  It seems like Fridays AND Sundays are now my "rest days".  WTF?  When did this start happening?  Crap.  It's no wonder I feel like I'm getting nowhere fast.


This realisation that I'm not putting into the program what I should be is my wake up call.  I need this program.  Not need as in needing a fix!  That's just sad.  No, I mean as in I need it to help me pull out of this mindset I've been in for the last 34 years; to help awaken the inner thinny (who's slowly being suffocated with all the layers of fat).  Yep.  He's heeeeeerrrrrrrrreeeeeee.  (Whether or not you choose to see a psycho wielding a sharp knife is up to you...personally, that's what springs to my mind.  Just like the time at Bunnings when I said to Wifey, 'hey, they really thought this aisle through.  Axes, tarps and shovels.'  Hmm.  Too many horror books as a kid...)


It was another piss-poor weekend for me.  Sure, went to the PT, but for what?  We had a bagel with cottage cheese and tomato for lunch (too scared to check out the calories) and I had a slice of banana loaf for afternoon tea.  Dinner comprised of...  What was dinner?  Oh, yeah.  The pumpkin & bean curry.  Ohh, that was a do-er again.  It seemed very liquidy so I threw in some couscous.  Mainly for Wifey - I only had two small fork fulls.


I had all the intentions of going out for a long walk before dinner (while Wifey was doing her school work).  Instead, I sidetracked myself and did some tidying up in the study (filing accounts and that sort of stuff you do when in full-on avoidance mode).  Then, when I finally decided to go for a walk, there was this loud clap of thunder and the skies opened.  Pfft.  Walk went out the window.  


Must get rid of this feeling of laziness.  Once upon a time I wouldn't have give an flying f**k about it.  Now, as scary as it is for me to say this, I feel disgusted that I've not done anything.  I will do more this coming week...I promise.